MY FESTIVAL
I want to do my best always
P. UNNIKRISHNAN
My interest in music, and in the music season, started pretty late. I was 15 when I was dragged to December concerts by my mother. I was so much into cricket that I didn't listen intently even though I went to hear Yesudas and Maharajapuram Santhanam.
My interest in listening began only when I started performing.
Seriousness about performance itself began with the shock of seeing my name in print on the pre-season Dasanjali festival list. That day, I just about managed to sing raga and swaram. My voice, not my skills, carried me through the ordeal. How could my music have substance when I hadn't listened to the masters in concerts or tapes? Only when I began to attend season concerts did I realise what Carnatic music was all about.
My guru Dr. S. Ramanathan was a gentle person. But Savitri Satyamurthy, who taught me after his demise was very strict. This was extremely good for me. She drove me to learn, practise and rehearse thoroughly. Also, the enthusiasm of YACM members Vijay Siva, R.K.Sriramkumar and Sanjay Subrahmanian infected me. They'd take me to concerts.
Vijay insisted I should sing well, and monitored one of my concerts by playing the mridangam, with Sriram on the violin. I was not confident beyond one kattai sruti. I didn't even realise Vijay had changed it to 2 kattai for both practice and stage performance! The `Koluvamarakata' I sang that day became my first assured essay when I made my December debut!
My music improved only when I began to listen carefully to the masters. I was inspired by T.N.Seshagopalan; the way he uses his voice is remarkable! I followed artistes like T.V.Sankaranarayanan and Maharajauram Santhanam through the entire season. They became my role models. I tried to sing like them. I didn't listen to the Semmangudi generation much, even recordings were not so freely accessible then. But attending T.Viswanathan's workshop changed my perception of music itself, so did his concerts in the season.
Now I make it a point to attend concerts on the days I don't perform. I make it to at least one recital by my old YACM friends!
My first Academy concert got a favourable review. It encouraged me. Another year I was astonished when my 2.30 p.m. concert at the Academy had the audience spilling out of the packed hall to sit on the jamakkalam in the foyer to hear me on the TV monitor! Never happened again. Of course, it was not a ticketed performance. Still, unforgettable for me.
One good review early in the season can carry you through the whole month. But pressures mount as expectations rise. Every sabha and every audience is important to me. I want to do my best always. With more sabhas now, youngsters get more chances than we did. That's great. The downside? Many halls stay empty, with a scanty audience of the performers' family and friends.
I'd say that the music festival is the time more than any other, to realise the grandeur of our music. Youngsters must put in a lot of effort before ascending the platform. They have the responsibility to project the best in our music. We should not give a negative experience, `Enna, Ivvalavudaana Karnataka Sangitam?' I am into films, so my responsibility to remain true to my tradition is greater. Also, the audience is more demanding now. You can't `manage' without competence. They won't accept it. I think this kind of audience inspires us through the year to do well, give of our best. Season concerts become benchmarks for us to live up to, until the next season comes round, when, hopefully, we will set higher goals.
(As told to GOWRI RAMNARAYAN)
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