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Between romance and responsibilities
G. Muthuswamy
The article “Romance and the Indian woman” (Open Page, March 16) is thought provoking. The writer should be appreciated for her carefully worded article. It may be true that romance is missing in the married life of many couples, especially in the middle class families. But the statement “many women in a marriage suffer from contempt bred from familiarity” may not be true. In fact, over a p
eriod of time, intimacy and love between couples actually grow. But, practical romance may be eluding in many of the couples’ lives due to various demands of modern day life.
As the writer aptly puts it, most of our men folk after a few years of marriage ‘get married again to their careers...’ Men get wedded to their careers with a good intention, born out of love, to earn more to provide their wives and children with all modern day facilities — even luxuries. In the process, they may lose sight of the need for romance. But when a woman feels that romance is missing in her life, she must understand that her husband is equally missing the same.
The writer talked about children but did not go deep into the present day situation. She simply says: “They (children) are also the reason that most couples agree to co-exist.” In today’s situation, parents practically live for their children. In the present competitive environment, more than the children, parents are eager to make their children come up in life. Most of the middle class parents are ready to pay any price and to sacrifice all their pleasures for their children’s great future.
Moreover, when a daughter or son grows into teen age and above, the romance between the couple is naturally fading away. When the son or daughter is busy with long hours of study at home, stretching into midnight almost every day, how will the poor husband and wife get into a romance mood?
The writer raises the question: “Would she (the woman) try and seek romance elsewhere….? If she has her financial independence too (which is now common), would it not be dangerous to take her for granted?” Men are financially independent for generations together. Do all men, in spite of their various frustrations at home, seek romance outside the marriage? Character, discipline and integrity are purely individual attributes.
However, in a broad analysis, it is true that there is a need for every couple to enrich their married life with more romance, love and care. Such enrichment will do good to men and women in today’s stressful life. Even modern spiritual gurus claim that life is to be celebrated and enjoyed.
It may simply require an open talk between a husband and wife and a little time management to set right things at home and take time for romance. Careful handling of the grown-up children is an essential part of the game.
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