|
Open Page
The bits and pieces of freedom
|
Women often compromise their financial and professional independence for peace at home
|
Mudmayee Chaturvedi
One of my friends is a software engineer in a reputed company and is engaged to a gentleman working abroad. A few days back, some friends (boys included) made plans for an outing. The girl immediately rang up her fiancé to seek his permission. The guy denied and as expected, my friend dropped her plan.
I was surprised as to how an educated and independent girl so readily gave away her right to make her decisions to a person almost equal in age and experience, and how a man believed that he possessed the right to command a mature person’s life.
The incident is just another small example of ‘The New Age India’ where girls have been imparted what can be best called pseudo independence. I shall focus here on the strata of society that take pride in being educated and progressive. At the cost of sounding feminist, I shall give a comparative analysis of how the well-read society treats both the sexes.
Having completed their education in same institutions and many a times outdoing boys in almost all spheres, one can sense a shift in attitudes of girls when a considerable number opt for professions where they can balance their personal and professional lives. Of course, such words can never be heard from a boy since he is not required to strike any balance. That’s the duty of the fair sex.
The 20s of a girl’s life mark that her time has started ticking out. It’s time she needs to prepare herself to give precedence to her family life. That is to say, the profession for which she sweated all her life is made a second priority. All of a sudden, she needs to mould her dreams to that of an “ideal and responsible lady.”
The partners in crime are not just the hubby-to-be and in-laws but also girl’s own family members who put on her the burden of being “adjusting and accommodating.” Nothing of this sort is expected of men. The feeling of playing second fiddle is subconsciously impregnated when she has to subscribe to the ubiquitous tradition of changing second name after marriage. Although, girls have learnt to take this in their stride and do not complain about it, I feel it is a severe blow to a person’s identity.
If someone feels I am going a bit too far, ask boys to do it once and watch the reaction.
Girls often compromise their financial and professional independence for peace at home. The shocking aspect is that even if a woman is doing better than her husband professionally, she is expected to change her organisation and place according to the job requirements of her husband. Women are unable to give the extra time, at times required for a professional edge.
They always find themselves in a catch-22 situation where they are either accused of being over ambitious and not giving ample time to the family or being negligent towards profession, square headed and drawing salaries for free. That they still manage to do so well for themselves should be attributed to their immense patience, potential and determination.
The impact of this dependence can be witnessed in everyday life where rather than consultation, girls seek permission, rather than keeping themselves updated about occurrences in the world, they prefer to seek a helping hand and finally end up becoming parasites in a few fields like property, finance, banking, law and politics.
Women, they say, are supposed to be the home makers who are the reason behind a man’s success. By no means can we deny the vital role they play in making character of the next generation but it is at the cost of aspirations of the existing generation.
Undoubtedly, there are families where women are given a good amount of freedom but here the credit of them enjoying freedom goes to the man who is supposedly a very nice person to have granted freedom to his lady.
Printer friendly
page
Send this article to Friends by
E-Mail
Open Page
|
