A modern woman
Devika Sharma
It is simply compelling to get to a silent place and write the story I just heard — of a woman who is trying to define herself within her life situations. She is working and is quite modern in her own ways. She has broken many walls. She has crossed several barriers. She shares her story with those women who are struggling to keep their family in one unit yet crane out their necks for a breath of life. Her happiness lies in her independence, which earns her dignity. She takes risks and does not bow down in adversities. She is my mother’s domestic help, Om.
It was a off day for me from my school. I shared a cup of tea with her. And I sipped some moments of her life. She was very young when she got married. She moved to a small village in Haryana, where she had to cook for about 12 brothers and sisters of her husband, draw water from the well and mop the floor with cow-dung as they lived in a kutcha house. She says her food smelled of the dung. She had to cover her face with a dupatta or sari pallu whenever a man came to the house or she went out.
Dealing with shackles
Om disliked it. She resisted. She was abused and beaten. She went to her mother’s house in despair. Her husband came to take her back. She went back. She felt suffocated. She made her husband sell his buffaloes and with the money they got, they went to Punjab. They worked in Amritsar for about a month. They then went to Pathankot, where they stayed for about a fortnight. They decided to move to Faridabad. Om says in a determined voice: “I did not like the work. Till I like what I am doing, I do not stay in a place.” They shifted to Palam colony in Delhi. She worked in two houses. She quit because there were no sinks in their kitchens. Her clothes and her back used to get wet while doing the dishes. She joined the flats in Dwarka. By then, she had got her husband a job as a watchman. The month she earned about Rs.5000, she called her mother-in-law to stay with her. Now they have a pucca house in the village that she takes pride in. Her three daughters and sons are married, three are studying in school, and her mother-in-law and father-in-law are also working.
Unassuming courage
Om has a delicate frame but unassuming strength. She is dark and bony. She is inconspicuous in a crowd. But when she was narrating her story, she was glowing. She looked beautiful. I could sense what she had gone through. Behind her smile were hidden her pain, resentment, and an acute desire to fly. She has succeeded in several ways but she has to overcome many obstacles.
She is loud but soft-hearted. She cooks for my mother without being told when she is not well. She is brave but is scared of escalators. She is stubborn and doesn’t touch food when angry but cooks for everyone. She is the first one in the family to wake up but the last to take to bed. She has fierce arguments with her employers but makes up with a smile. She has ready anecdotes of her fights with her family members but stands up for them when needed.
Everyone has a journey which has twists and turns. Like Om, there are many of us who carry our stories hidden in us. We are scared of getting out of the four walls and of fighting. She dared. And her whole family sees a different horizon today. She is a modern working woman indeed. Free. Loving. Heroic.
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