Restraining the wedding guest
KAMALA BALACHANDRAN
“Poverty” said Mahatma Gandhi “is the worst from of violence”. I am convinced that if Gandhi, who personified simplicity, were to be around today, he would have declared that festivity in excess was also a form of violence. For it depletes resources, damages the environment, squanders time and devalues people.
My recent experience in Bangalore during an auspicious day when a wedding was celebrated made me deliberate on these issues. There was a Kumbhmela of vehicles on the road. While the bigger vehicles had no choice but to stand patiently, the two wheelers were creating their own path by zigzagging their way through the gaps. Interspersed with them were pedestrians, hurriedly coursing the maze, eager to get to the other side of the road before the vehicles started to move. Every face mirrored desperation, frustration and an anxiety to get somewhere. When I finally made it to the wedding hall, the joy of having reached the destination evaporated. The hall was packed with people and there were no chairs to seat all the guests.
The ambient noise was high as the hall full of people were trying to be heard over the sounds of musical instruments. People were tired and edgy and wanted the ‘job’ over and done with. Most were stealthily eyeing the entrance to the dining hall. Some openly aired the idea that Bangaloreans must follow the Chennai model and have the lunch served even before the ‘muhurtham’ was over.
Awkward anxiety
There was sudden excitement as a few alert people started to make an awkward march to the dining hall. More followed telling each other of their compulsions (old person/children being alone at home) and why they couldn’t wait. If those who made it to the first batch were apologetic about the hurry, the people aspiring for a place in the second batch were openly aggressive and desperate. So much so that well dressed guests were occupying the chairs even before the tables were cleaned.
I had no choice but to deposit the gift, greet the couple and collect the mandatory bag. I reached home an hour later, with a heavy head and an empty stomach.
All of us routinely experience this kind of torture. The strange thing is that when it is our turn to be the host, the memory of the hardships borne by the invitees gets blanked out. Decades ago, when there was a shortage of foodgrains in the country, there was a cap on the number of guests at weddings. Now thanks to the green revolution, we have come past those days of importing grains. But we have before us equally grave issues of oil import and environmental pollution, which make travelling distances simply to mark an attendance, a grievous offence.
But there is no regulation now to curb travel. So it is up to us to set the trend and limit the guest list to immediate family and close friends. This would not only ease the pressure on the roads and free the vast number of invitees from having to oblige with an attendance, but also make our weddings occasions of relaxed celebration.
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