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REALTY SPEAK

— Photo: M.A. Sriram

Watch out: Residents of apartments must be sensitive to their neighbours’ needs.

But this story is about a different rain that wets property, as much as it burns. Not the acid variety that contains pollutants but the ‘apartment’ variety from balconies, with enough firepower to spark off heat among residents, as I came to learn from my good friend Das.

“What’s that brown spot on your white shirt, paan?” I asked him at the canteen, a few days ago. “Not paan, yaar, but shaitaan,” he grumbled. “Lives right on top of my head!” he added, and I looked up and wondered if he was referring to the boss. “Not here,” Das hastened to clarify. “In my apartment block. I felt a drop falling on me as I was leaving for the office this morning,” he explained.

“Perhaps a drizzle,” I suggested. Das shook his head, “No, don’t you see that it is sunny after many days. And this mess is from what my not-so-friendly neighbour dries in the balcony!”

I jested, “There’s some wonder in that handkerchief!” Das fumed, “Don’t waste on me a Desdemona line from Othello, though mine is a tragedy too, with droplets falling from a dirty mop, not a lover’s hanky!” It was appropriate that I sympathised, so I said, “Alas, your expensive new shirt! Try a non-acidic stain remover.”

After inspecting the damage, I said, “If the mop had wiped off some potent floor cleaner, expect to see a hole soon where the stain now shows.” The last thing that Das wanted was my grim forecast, so he left in a huff.

Ever since, I have been looking around if Das’s plight is an exception rather than a rule. I have always believed that “the quality of mercy is not strain’d, it droppeth as the gentle rain from heaven upon the place beneath,” as Portia says in The Merchant of Venice, but the quality of what droppeth in many properties is of staining nature, I have discovered. A major finding is that by and large, most of us have evolved sufficiently that we don’t throw objects out the window, as babies are more prone to. So, there are fewer instances of crumpled papers and empty cigarette packets, vegetable peels and used napkins getting tossed out indiscriminately. Occasionally, however, you can see a mindless maid gathering dust and winnowing the same to the winds from a floor above, as if it were a kind of blessing!

With liquids, there seems to be less of discretion practised. It is not unusual to find otherwise educated residents throw water on their floors and drain the waste through the balcony outlet, little considering the inconvenience they cause in the bargain.

Apparently, they don’t realise that the small pipe protruding from balconies is more a rainwater drain than a celestial right for residents to callously flaunt, even as the affected may like to ‘rain hot vengeance on offenders’ heads,’ as in King Richard II.

In the absence of neighbourly sensitivity, I’m afraid you may need to take measures for limiting injury. Remember that vadaams drying in the parking lot may be safe from crows and mynahs, and yet be vulnerable to contamination from effluents. Don’t be shocked to find your vehicle developing strange patterns on the painted surface owing to the liquid treatment it gets regularly subjected to. A keen eye can make out a matching pattern on the apartment walls too!

If you live on one of the lower floors, don’t rue that your balcony is as good as unusable because of what descends from above. Even potted plants may wither because of detergents your neighbour decided to shower upon the great unwashed. And if you have the habit of stretching out your hand to check if it’s raining, think again!

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