Imaginary friends
Lucy Ward
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Should you worry if your child conjures up an invisible companion?
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They can be male or female, invisible or cuddleable; they can live in a castle or in a pocket. Maybe you had one, although you probably lost it when you were little; perhaps your children have one. Mine had a place laid next to me at the table and always had his coat buttoned up by my mum, as I did.
Oddly, imaginary friends, those little-understood yet strangely powerful occupants of the nursery, are still alive and playing, even in the age of ready-manufactured, highly marketed cartoon characters. In fact, researchers at Manchester University, England, are currently looking into the effect of imaginary companions on children's language, skills, development and creativity, and the team say that in the course of their work they have been confronted with a motley procession of invented characters, ranging from a whole class of children — to a 30-year-old adult and a talking toy dog.
The children taking part in a series of game-style tests at the university's school of psychological sciences sometimes bring their imaginary friends with them, or they explain that they have left them in the corridor, or in the castle "because they have so much to do there".
Great range
"There's a great range," says researcher Anna Roby. "The children tell me about where their companions live, what sort of friends they have, what they like doing, their names — one was called Pencil and one was called after a Bon Jovi song.
"Some live in castles, some are married, some are animals or objects, some are in the form of dolls or stuffed dogs. Some are invisible, but are people. One boy invented two imaginary companions for his sister."
Imaginary friends provoke curiously ambivalent reactions from the grown-up world. Not everyone thinks they're sweet — some parents find them troubling, connecting the fantasy characters with mental disturbance or even something darker. (As it happens The Icarus Girl, the much-lauded debut novel by Helen Oyeyemi, features eight-year-old Jessamy, half Nigerian, half British, whose imaginary friend TillyTilly has sinister powers.) Others are simply concerned that an imaginary friend means the child is shy, introverted or even anti-social, their friendship with the unreal harming their relationships in the real world.
Great adventures
Roby believes such fears are baseless. "I think the negative stigma comes from mental health issues, from the idea of hearing voices and its connection with schizophrenia."
Some youngsters, she says, may use their invented friendships to act out issues troubling them at home, in an attempt to make sense of events such as bereavement or divorce.
"But I think for the majority it is simply a companionship thing, maybe for when mum and dad are not always there to play with them. We believe imaginative friends are a good, creative thing for children." I'm reminded of the comic-book character Calvin and his imaginary tiger, Hobbes. Adults think Hobbes is a tatty old stuffed toy. Calvin, however, sees him as a real, breathing, very dangerous tiger, and they have great adventures together. Of course, both Calvin's parents, while witty and urbane, are very busy; it's clear Calvin is lonely.
Parents can be keen to see imaginary friends vanish, as a child gets older, perhaps fearing the child will miss out on "real" social interaction. In practice, says Roby, most invisible friends — typically invented by first-borns or only children — fade away when or soon after a sibling is born or a child goes to school.
This certainly seems to be the case in my family. Baps, my companion from aged two, together with White Cat (who mainly lived under my nana's chair) and Badger, disappeared when my brother got old enough to be interesting. Meanwhile, my older daughter's invisible friends, Boko, Corky and Cheeky — who once were to be found everywhere — are rarely heard of now that she has started school.
Guardian Newspapers Limited 2005
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