Why shed tears at all?

SIR Winston Churchill, the British leader, who led his island- nation against the Nazi hordes of Adolf Hitler remains a hero. We still remember his "bull dog" tenacity (in fact he looked like a bull dog!), never-say-die and stirring eloquence. Even during the darkest hours of Britain during the Second World War, Churchill was able to raise the morale of his countrymen through his eloquence. "I would say to the House, as I said to those who had joined the government, 'I have nothing to offer but blood, toil, tears and sweat,"' Churchill thundered. Another memorable passage went as follows: "We shall defend our island, whatever the cost may be, we shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and the streets, we shall fight in the hills: we shall never surrender."

Stirring stuff indeed. No wonder the Englishmen rose to the occasion, fought against tremendous odds and won the war. When Churchill made these speeches, he often choked with emotion. Tears ran down his cheeks but he made no effort to hide them. The emotions he displayed openly added to the impact of his speeches and reflected his commitment to his cause. Let me make it clear, I am no Churchill. I neither wrote or spoke like him. And thank God, I did not have to lead my nation against someone like Hitler. But I do have something in common with Sir Winston. These days, I find myself shedding tears quite often. I watch a movie on television and react to intensely moving scenes with moist eyes. The same happens when I read stirring passages in books. Scenes showing great achievements have the same impact. I am so impressed with yet another incisive spell of fast bowling from Australian Glen McGrath, that I feel a lump in my throat when he goes up to collect yet another "Man of the Match" Award. Goran Ivanisevic's recent Wimbledon triumph made me wipe my eyes in admiration. The same happened when I watched our tricolour flag fluttering over the ramparts of the Red Fort on Independence Day.

This is not a new phenomenon. Even during my younger days, great suffering as well as intense emotions displayed in books and films reduced me to tears. When the world ended after a nuclear war in On the Beach, a Nevil Shute novel, I could not control my tears. The sheer waste of everything! The agony of the younger generation who had to miss out on so many important things like fulfilled love, marriage and the joy of having children because of the arrogance and the stupidity of their elders who went to war upset me deeply.

Along with shedding tears over moving thoughts and feelings, these days I also cannot watch any kind of suffering. Movies of course, are make believe, but when the hero or the heroine undergo great suffering or get bashed up by the villains, I quietly leave the room. I could never watch in full movies like "Schindler's List" or our own Dilip Kumar-starrer, "Devdas". Having left the room while the hero was tortured or bashed up, I return towards the end when the villains meet with the same fate. The hero may get the better of ten of his enemies single-handed, but I rejoice at his valour. No more tears for me. Different people react to scenes of cinematic violence and other emotions in a different manner. My wife has absolutely no inhibitions over watching intensely emotional scenes and cruelty inflicted on the good. The in-laws harass, starve and beat up the young bride and ultimately set fire to her for not bringing adequate dowry. The hero suffers from incurable cancer, yet faces his dilemma bravely, singing all the time and trying to help others. While these scenes may drive me away from TV screens, my wife watches them without batting an eyelid. "Why do you get so emotional?" she asks. "This is not real life, only cinema."

The difference between reality and make believe sometimes gets blurred. My eldest sister, Saraswati, while watching mythological movies in her childhood, urged her sibling, Lakshmi to fold her hands in prayer as gods and goddesses appeared on the screen. I accompanied my sisters to watch "Laila Majnu", the story of star- cross'd lovers. They were sobbing into their handkerchieves all the time and during the intermission I found their eyes red, noses shining and chests still heaving! When I took one of my grandmothers to watch Jupiter Films' "Krishna Vijayam" at a Madurai cinema several years ago, she was muttering prayers all the time. The filmi lord Krishna, to her, was real! On a humorous level, I found my younger brother Moorthy, had his eyes tightly closed and muttering, "Bhayangaram! Bhayangaram" (Terrible, terrible) while sitting through a movie which had plenty of rakshasas (demons). He opened his eyes only when the comedian came on screen. To this day, my sister had not changed much, at least while watching movies. And she is in good company with her son Kalyan. Both mother and son get carried away while watching movies on television. When the hero is being chased by villains and their sidekicks, they scream, "Oduda, seekiram odu. Andha saniyangal pinnale varadhu. Eppidiyavadhu thappichuko." (Run quickly and escape. Those rascals are after you.) When the vamp offered a glass of drugged milk to the unsuspecting hero, my sister and her son who were in the know of things shouted "Kudikadhe, Kudikadhe!! Adhile visham irruku." (Do not drink, the milk has poison.) "With Amma and Kalyan around, it is difficult for us to watch movies," laughs Swarna, Kalyan's wife. Their two children agree, all in good humour.

But I understand the feelings of my sister and Kalyan, though I do not shout instructions to characters in the movies. When you feel intensely on certain issues, you are bound to react in the same manner. That is why these days, I restrict myself to happy movies, even if some of them are quite silly. Why sit in front of the TV set and wipe your eyes?

V. GANGADHAR

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