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Education Plus
Permissive parent, passive child
Two selfish people walk on a rainy day with a single umbrella. Each one wants to have its comfort, tries to shove the other and as a result both are drenched by the time they reach their destination. This move is comparable to an authoritarian parent and a rebellious child, wanting to exercise their demanding power over the other in the house and ultimately both fail.
Surprisingly it is the same between a permissive parent and a passive child, comparable to two courteous persons walking under one umbrella. One tries to cover the other and the latter politely pushes it back. The end result is that both are drenched.
Permissive parents believe that by not being strict, they are offering utmost liberty to their children unlike other parents. They always vegetate, watching the land and expecting it to give yield without cultivating it.
They want the child to take the initiative and while the child looks for instructions. This combination amplifies the negative side of both characteristics.
Parenting style depends on the type of child you are managing. It is convenient to bring up a non-demanding and submissive child… but intelligence, curiosity, energy and mischief are synonyms. A passive, dull and unenthusiastic child requires socialisation. Locate and encourage the in-built talent such as music, sports or dance. Move to a bit more authoritarian style of parenting. ‘Authoritarian’ is not a negative word and not synonymous with dictatorship. It is controlling a situation with command. In fact, using this style, one can achieve a high standard of compliance, as long as the parent influences the child both with love and care in a ‘logical’ manner.
Here is a story of a true permissive parent. A doctor was looking for a solution as her son is simultaneously loved by three girls. One chats for hours on the Internet, other writes letters in blood and the third girl talks late into the night. The reason for so many girls falling for him according to the mother is his attractive bike, costly cell phone etc. When we suggested that she deny him those comforts, she supported her argument that the boy vomits if he travels by bus and the cell is required to enquire about his snacks, lunch etc at regular intervals. When we finally suggested to her to get her son married to one of these girls as the final alternative, she revealed that he was a student of eighth class!
YANDAMOORI VEERENDRANATH
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