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Education Plus
Treading that thin line with caution
Cupid plays dangerously: Love can be a part of college life but not the only part.
The thing that there is a thin line between friendship and love is very true but the present generation doesn’t understand. They must remember that love is a true affection between two souls and guys have no right to be possessive. Even girls should be aware of the mentality and behaviour of their male friends. Jilted lovers attack girls mostly in the secluded places only. So, it’s important for girls to better move in public places with their male friends. It is very important that girls should be very careful while making friends and accepting their love with in a very short time of their friendship. The role of parents also comes in this scenario and it is their duty to keep a watch on their wards so that they don’t take wrong steps. The police needs to take immediate action on the culprit so that others think twice before committing such crime.
S.M.A. Zuhoori
S.M.A.Zuhoori,
Hyderabad
It is true that the trend of attacking girls has increased. But girls are also partly responsible for it if not totally. Girl students should stop moving closely with boys or very careful while making friends because it’s always the girl who has to face the wrath. Boys should remember that they should respect girls and their individuality.
If a girl wants to be friendly with boys she should explain clearly that she is interested in friendship alone. Going out to movies and parks should be in groups to ensure that boys don’t misunderstand the relationship. Girls should always insist on sharing the bills just to avoid embarrassment later. Such small gestures are indeed effective. And please do remember that life is different from what they show in films.
Romila Gillella,
Snehapuri colony
Pooja Surana
This is a shame on the society. Boys need to understand that they are not only spoiling the lives of girls but also their bright future. Not talking to boys or ignoring them is not a solution. Girls need to be very clear with the boys that there shall not be anything beyond friendship. You have to be very harsh if someone crosses their limits in friendship. Girls should not give them an impression that we feel for them and not go beyond our way to help them as these acts lead to feelings that they are in love.
If the guy keeps pestering don’t keep it under wraps but speak to his parents and let them know as they might help him understand. Lot of guys do understand and fall in line when the girls are clear in their thoughts and actions. The problem is with only a few. For those the fear of police should always be there. Girls we can fight back and not allow them to hurt us for that we need to be physically and emotionally strong.
Pooja Surana
Parental control has weakened over the years. Punishment has become a thing of past making children live in their own dream world. Add to this the constant influence of the idiot box, the cinema depicting the teenage love, love without reason and relationship, and the disgusting scenes of forcible wooing by bullies on the college campus and cybercafé culture breed meaningless curiosity in young minds.
Children are not mature enough to differentiate between friendship and love. What they believe to be love is only infatuation. In time vigilance and counselling by parents and teachers even taking elderly and police help in unruly cases will nip problems in the bud. Attention on character training and behaviour and good advice will prevent unhealthy trends. Putting before the young minds high and noble goals in life inspires them. But when educational institutions become race courses, teachers whipping jockeys to make students winning horses what sweet fruits can the society expect?
V. Raja Gopala Rao,
Nellore
Often the relationship between a boy and a girl is mistaken as love. While the boys responsible largely for misunderstanding the girls there are other factors that influence them to think like that. The so-called love stories in the films only fuel such feelings. There are hardly any films that try to highlight the relation in a human angle. Film makers are too lazy to even write subjects on those lines.
Guys should understand that there is more in giving than taking or demanding. Violence will not only create hell for the girls but also to them and their families. Promotion of other aspects of college life like cultural activities, sports and debates will wean away students from the wrong influences. Stringent laws and strict implementation of them will certainly drive away the ill-thoughts if not eradicate.
Garapati Sri Ramya
The reason for the rising violence related to romantic relations is inferiority complex apart from possessiveness. For boys achieving a girl’s love is ultimate and a defeat in that purpose is not viewed as one of the several failures of life, particularly by the peers. The thought of such defeat and the “insult” one has to face from their friends and the society is what drives boys to indulge in violence.
There is a need to change the mindset of the society that failure in love is not above education or other achievements in life. Boys should be told that not everyone succeeds in every sphere of life and love is one among them. Girls should be strong enough to reject guys approaching with proposals and boldly tell them the reasons for it. In such cases boys would definitely understand. Avoiding deliberately or insulting them in front of friends will only complicate the strained relationship.
Media is not doing a favour by constantly bombarding of the images through news channels whenever jilted lovers use violence as a medium of expression.
Neelima Kilari
Molestation, Murder or Attack - this is how some unruly guys want attention. In fact this has lead to the fear of insecurity and frustration not only in the girls but also their parents.
The solution to this problem is not something given in a word or a sentence. It needs public interest and interference. The question that often strikes my mind is that when a guy has guts to murder a girl in public, why don’t people oppose and stop them.
Nrupen Chakravarthy
I feel neither the media nor the police can curb such incidents. The inculcation of values right from school days is the need of the hour.
Nrupen Chakravarthy,
Hyderabad
Love is the breath of life. Hence love is not to be blamed and the lovers treated as criminals. But stabbing the girl in the day-light class room by the so called lover, killing himself when his so called lover negatively responds, killing themselves when their so called love is reportedly not acceptable either side elders is ridiculous. Such people should be treated for psychological disorders.
The present scenario is that the parents of the girls are the most worried when they are sending their girls out to colleges. Friendship is the essence of life. So, it is not correct to advise the girls not to make friendship. The friendship need not be between the same genders. The teenage girls naturally are innocent and they may not be so dexterous to know much about the limitations.
If the girl happens to befriend a boy, don’t discourage. Get the details of the boy.
Give her such a freedom that she must talk about him with you fearlessly. Mothers must play an important role in keeping a check on their teenage daughters. They can also cite some examples from newspaper reports of how bad company can spoil their lives. Unless the parents take their daughters into confidence and move with them rather friendly understating their problems the situation cannot be changed.
G. Rammohan
Government should instruct the police to treat the issue seriously. In fact, girls are afraid to lodge complaints due to the behaviour of police personnel. They should be first trained in dealing with such sensitive issues. If the police plays its role properly majority of such incidents can be curbed easily.
Love can be a part of it but love alone cannot be part of college life. Schools and colleges inculcate moral values and guide the youth indicating the priorities of life. Spiritual lessons must be made mandatory in the curriculum.
Film industry and television are primarily responsible for stoking such passions in the name of love stories. Its time they realise how their productions are negatively influencing the youngsters.
Kanaparthi Srinivas,
Hyderabad
The increasing success of girl students in all fields have left the average focus less male with only one preoccupation- to establish his physical superiority through any means. I strongly believe that feminists should not create war between the sexes but try to build healthy and happy relationship between girls and boys.
The entire film and television fraternity should look carefully at the monster they have created in the name of entertainment and personal gain. It should mandatory for producers to create and run NGO’s for spreading education and awareness among the masses.
Parents, teachers and educationists have to get off their ego trips and allow their wards to lead normal, healthy lives by giving them unconditional love which is the greatest motivator.
Dr. Andal Manga Thayar,
Secunderabad
Cases of young men slitting throats, throwing acid on the faces of girls who refuse to accept their amoral advances, seem to be increasing at an alarming rate. The root cause for such abnormal behaviour seems to be stemming from the changing cultural scenario in metropolis as well as in rural areas. The pub culture, increased fan fare on valentine’s day, free access to money have all contributed to this bizarre development.
The influence of mass media, with films and TV serials having love as the alluring theme, vulgar and obscene scenes has made the boys believe that love life is the top priority in life
Shree Devi Rapur
Suitable counselling, frank discussion, tactful dealing without hurting the feelings of the boy may to a large extent solve the problem.
A revamped education system with students busy gaining experience in the field of their interest, strong ethics imbibed at an early childhood at home and school levels, help to instil a respectful regard towards the opposite sex. Value Education compulsory at school and college level, regular interaction with parents and teachers on social, moral and spiritual issues, will certainly help the wayward youth to realise the right priorities that help in developing their personalities.
Shree Devi Rapur,
National Institute of Technology,
Warangal
The recent string of instances of heart-broken ‘lovers’ unleashing brutal attacks on girls points to the grave dangers of letting an educational system, bereft of ethics and values grow unquestioned. Of course, the boys deserve the whip and their actions the severest condemnation.
Parents’ clamping external curbs on the movements of boys and girls and assuming a ‘my-son-is-not-like-that’ attitude will not make the problem any less severe. On the contrary, it may be tantamount to openly inviting more of these barbaric acts. The ill-guided youth need to be taught the virtues of peace and non-violence.
The need of the hour is for parents, teachers and law enforcing authorities to self introspect and join hands to build a stronger and safer society.
Ugandhar Manthina,
Visakhapatnam
The fault is not of the guy alone and there are many other factors involved in this. Parents in a family have to bring up their child with love and affection but not with strict discipline.
When the child feels the security in the relationship with their parents they get to think everything in a positive manner. Now a days media has a crucial impact on the present youth. Hence the media should carefully keep in mind the consequences about the acts they perform and proceed in order to reduce such type of incidents. As a child’s first role model is its parent ,parents should become a role model by implementing all the things which they try to teach.
Sindhu
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