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Watch for the stunts



DIS-JOINTED PLOT: Transporter 2

Transporter 2
Genre: Action
Director: Louis Leterrier
Cast: Jason Statham,
Alessandro Gassman, Amber
Valetta, Kate Nauta
Storyline: Bang bang, dishoom dishoom_ aaaaaaaaa!
Bottomline: Someone obviously took a machine gun and peppered the script. Only explanation for the holes.

The plot of ``Transporter 2" could be very scientific: there are these scientist guys and some cool stuff in glass vials. The green one is a virus that is passed on through the contaminated person's breath. The purple one is the antidote.

Then again, this is a film where the waif-like bad girl traipses around in Goth eye makeup and sky-high stilettos, guns blazing, and NEVER trips or breaks a heel. And to top it all, the stilettos have bows! But no one's complaining. How can you, when our stocky little James Bond drives an Audi A8L W12 capable of flying into the air, scraping a bomb off with an industrial crane hook and returning to earth without a dent. There's a move you will see in the next Rajnikanth film.

The Transporter is Frank Martin, a stony-faced, shaken-not-stirred type mercenary driver who lives by ``the rules" — respect a man's car, a man respects you, greet the man and always buckle up your seatbelt.

This time, he's hired for a job that's not really his line - he has to play driver to young Jack Billings, whose father is an influential man in international drug control.

The bad guys, a motley crew with Russian and South American accents, kidnap Jack with an ingenious plan to get to the father. There are plenty of car chases, gun fights, martial arts stunts and a French law enforcer who bakes lighter-than-air Madeleines. The dialogue, like all good action films, has a simple, chest-thumping, macho beauty to it, in the spirit of the cheesy but cool lines from "Top Gun."

For example, when Frank catches up with bad guy Gianni on a plane as he tries to escape, he says, ``I'm afraid your flight has been cancelled," to which Gianni pulls out a gun and says, ``I'm afraid you have been cancelled" and opens fire.

Forget suspension of disbelief; don't even try to make sense of the plot. This one's meant to be watched with a large group of people who can respect a stunt master's wild imagination. Frank's in the driver's seat, so sit back and enjoy the ride.

SUSAN MUTHALALY

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