D. Murali

Chennai: What is financing? “The art of passing currency from hand to hand until it finally disappears,” says Robert W. Sarnoff, founder of RCA. And, having seen much money disappear through big black holes engineered by the I-banks, you may agree with this two-decade-old quote of T. Boone Pickens, a corporate raider: “When you cut the investment bankers, you usually cut out the leaks.”

These lines, which seem to apply squarely to the current times, are among the scores of jibes and barbs in ‘The Quotable Tycoon: A treasury of business quotations’ compiled by David Olive and Gita Piramal (www.penguinbooksindia.com).

A section on banking has Walter Bagehot cautioning that if bankers are busy, there is something wrong. “The good news is that we have a lot of banks, and the bad news is that they are all bankrupt,” frets D. K. Singhania. And Diane von Furstenberg urges, “You don’t discuss your banker or your gynaecologist. You just trust them.”

Always acknowledge a fault frankly, Mark Twain counsels. “This will throw those in authority off their guard and give you an opportunity to commit more.” Judgment comes from experience, and experience comes from bad judgment, observes Walter Wriston.

When you are faced with a decision, the best thing is to do the right thing, agrees Roger A. Enrico. “The next best is to do the wrong thing, and the worst is to do nothing.”

An equally potent tip is from Robert Townsend, on how the easiest way to do a snow job on investors is to change one factor in the accounting each month: “Then you can say, ‘It’s not comparable with last month or last year. And we can’t really draw any conclusions from the figures.’”

Richard Branson concedes that he used to sit through board meetings not knowing the difference between net and gross and really struggling. Till someone explained to him, thus: “Now look, Richard, we know you’re never quite sure whether it’s good news or bad news when we give you the figures, but think of the Atlantic and think of the fish all over the ocean. If you’ve got fish in the net that’s what you’ve caught – all the rest is gross.’” Fantastic, says a cheerful Branson. “I’ve finally got there.”

While the views of knowledgeable people – such as economists, industry experts, business professors and financial journalists – are often stimulating, what the book’s editors find exciting are the views from the tycoon, a word of Japanese origin meaning ‘great lord.’

For instance, Allen Born, CEO of US mining firm Amax, had this electrifying insight to offer, in the 1980s: “If you can’t fix it, sell it. If you can’t sell it, shoot it.” Or, sample this from the head of Arkansas poultry giant Tyson Foods in the 1990s, Don Tyson: “If it makes money, we expand it. If it doesn’t, we cut its throat.”

Depopulate, get rid of people, urges Jeffrey Skilling. “They gum up the works.” And Thomas J. Watson avers that the fastest way to succeed is to double your failure rate!

When it comes to feedback, bosses can be demanding, watch out. Punch me in the face, goads Allen Sheppard. “Woe unto you, when all men shall speak well of you,” reminds Luke, aptly cited.

“I looked for those sharp, scratchy, harsh, almost unpleasant guys who see and tell you about things as they really are,” confesses Thomas J. Watson Jr. And Harold S. Geneen gives up, in sheer frustration: “Bull times zero is bull. Bull divided by zero is infinity bull. And I’m sick and tired of the bull you’ve been feeding me.”

A feast of a read.

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