Counselling - it's never too late

THE hum-drum and hassle of work coupled with personal problems that pile on, can take a toll on your happiness, health and sense of well-being. Sometimes, the pressure can be so overwhelming that you cannot handle it anymore on your own.

In such a case, seeking professional help can restore a sense of balance and control in a chaotic world.

Malaika looked cool and unflappable in her pale pink business suit, but it was just a facade. No one would have fathomed the turmoil within. To the world at large, she seemed to have it all - an enviable job, a supportive husband and a delightful son.

However, Malaika was weighed down by an overwhelming sense of inadequacy. She felt isolated and was slowly losing her peace of mind and her grasp of reality. With her life spinning out of control, she realised that professional help was essential to get her life back on an even keel.

However, unlike Malaika most of us perceive that seeking professional help is a sign of weakness, and that an emotionally strong person never requires counselling. Exploring one's feelings and emotions to respond positively to life is a sign of courage rather than weakness. Problems and difficulties, which are not dealt with, can fester and in time cause a major crisis.

Another stigma associated with counselling is that it is only meant for individuals who have serious mental health problems. This is far from the truth. People seek help for a number of reasons, be it personal or professional.

On the personal front, it helps people deal with the trauma of a break up, the loss of a child, marital conflicts and the like to emerge a better rather than bitter person. It provides a release for pent-up frustrations and forces you to deal with emotions hidden deep within.

Workplace problems include stress, difficult interpersonal relationships with colleagues /boss, or radical changes that take place. Counselling addresses these issues by creating an atmosphere wherein employees can share, discuss, and resolve their frustrations and problems.

Employees can seek to `fit' in and realise their potential and interpersonal effectiveness. Regardless of the type of issues you may have to deal with, counselling provides a better perspective. It certainly will not do away with all your problems, or "fix everything" but it can help you to tackle the odds.

Questions you need to ask, when the going gets tough is, `Do I need help?' No one can answer the question better except you. Some of the `symptoms' that might prompt you to consider counselling are: increased liquor consumption, increased conflict at work and more days away from work.

Low tolerance for frustration (little things get to you), feelings of anxiety/nervousness, sense of futility, difficulty in sleeping, changes in appetite (overeating or under eating), reluctance to go to work, difficulty in concentrating/getting work done are other indicators. These are signs of the emotional tumult that you certainly can't ignore or miss, and that's what needs to be addressed.

Counselling often is a 'talking' treatment that helps to focus inwards and root out problems. Alternatively, it could be in the form of psychotherapy or cognitive behaviour therapy. Self-help groups and support groups help an individual to pull through troubled times.

It can help you :

* Make sense of your fears and anxieties

* Feel less alone and down

* Share your grief and loss

* Think about and understand your emotions

* Find stability in a crisis

* Look at better ways of communicating

* Begin to find answers to your problems and concerns

* Discover new life perspectives

Today, people make no bones about seeking counselling to help them through a rough patch. Sharing the load with someone else besides friends and family can help. You deserve to have a happy and fulfilling life, so do not let petty misconceptions hold you back.

FARZANA JUNAISE

farzana.hyd@careercommunity.co.in