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Are you shy?

The secret of overcoming shyness is the understanding that people have more important things to do than think constantly about you!

OVER THE months I've been writing this column, I've had hundreds of queries from readers.

Many are on the theme: `I'm shy! Can you help?'

Some people are shy, others are outgoing.

Shyness can be painful, though and it can also put you at a disadvantage in many situations.

I have found that people who are shy often focus on themselves.

The first important secret in overcoming shyness is understanding that people have more important things to think about and observe than you! Knowing this, you can take your mental focus off yourself.

Instead of thinking `Do I sound silly?', `Will she like me?' or `I must look stupid!', think instead about the person you are speaking with, how to put your message across clearly, and how to be a good friend.

Concentrate on trying to really understand what people are telling you and how they are feeling.

Think about how to put your own thoughts across in the best way possible.

Your shyness will evaporate and you will be able to enjoy being in the company of others.

KRIS COLE

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