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Quest
To be good enough
SHARADA PRAHLADRAO
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How can you improve your child's self esteem?
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AP
Need to be reassured...
In today's competitive environment what is vital for a child's growth is self-esteem. Examining the causes of aggression, bullying, withdrawal and failure we discover lack of self-esteem to be the root of anti-social behaviour. As parents and teachers we are responsible for the mental development and confidence levels of a child. If a child is constantly rebuked and told that he's failure, his self-worth hits rock bottom. Unthinkingly we call our children "stupid", "idiotic" and "irresponsible" and this has a significant impact on their tender psyches. If we have a positive view of our children they are likely to feel the same about themselves. Help children feel good about themselves, and think highly of themselves. Children will value themselves if their parents value them.
Parents are the most influential role models children have. Whatever values and beliefs we want our children to learn, those are the beliefs and values we have to live our lives by. When you understand and accept yourself, it helps you understand and accept others. As a parent or a teacher, you have a great influence over the self-esteem of your child. For the first four or five years, parents are the most important contributors. When children start school, teachers and friends become important. Once they reach adolescence, peer groups begin playing a greater role in steering child's self-esteem.
As Thomas D. Yarnell, Clinical Psychologist says: "Self-esteem refers to how you feel about yourself. It includes such things as your self-confidence, self-respect, your independence and your self-reliance. All the ways you feel about yourself and your abilities are wrapped up in the term self-esteem."
Self-esteem has to be nurtured during infancy. If the infant feels well taken care of he will feel that the world is a loving place and he is an important being.
Avoid the following actions: Expecting too much or too little from children.
Yelling/ criticising, especially in front of people.
Not praising or showing appreciation.
Calling children clumsy, thoughtless, stupid, lazy...
Telling them they are failures/ can never succeed.
Overprotecting or neglecting them.
To improve self-esteem:
Praise successes (even very small ones).
Show affection.
Show interest in activities, projects, or problems.
Tell children what to do instead of what not to do.
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