Practise the art of parenting
G.V.R. SUBBA RAO
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Parenting is a fine art that has to be honed, say psychologists.
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PHOTO: CH. VIJAYA BHASKAR
Lessons to learn: Parents at the workshop
For many a parent, the hardest thing in life is being a good parent. The art of parenting may be compared to a class on pottery. One starts with a lump of clay in hand with the great intention of moulding it into something grand and placing it proudly on their mantle piece.
But, creation of a “master piece” depends on one’s capabilities in, and understanding of, the art of parenting, say experts.
Parents are generally bogged down with anxieties and fears about the future of their children. But, understanding a child from the child’s point of view is important in the development and growth of a child.
The children are a “symbol of development and growth”. They can grow and develop if the parents understand their kids’ world.
Communication plays a major role in the development and growth of a child.
If the child is not given an opportunity to express himself or herself and listen to others, need for training in communication skills would arise after he or she grows up.
Communication skills would help a child in career as well as to strengthen the family bonding, says psychologist P. Adinarayana. He says that children are prone to asserting themselves from the age of two itself. Parents should respect it and encourage all their deeds in understanding the world around them.
They try to express the world around them in the form of symbols. They may draw a painting of their father or mother or teacher. Usually, parents try to encounter or discourage all such attempts to express their views which leads to crisis.
Independence matters
The conflict between autonomy (of child’s attempt to be independent) and doubt (created by the parents) leads to crisis, and, ultimately, the child becomes a dependent on others in future, he says.
Also, the relationship between parents and children should be such that children must be able to express themselves with honesty and integrity; have trust in themselves; understand that their lives, actions and feelings are their own responsibility; and they should also have a non-serious, zestful, confident, creative and fearless approach to life and learning.
Most importantly, the present generation of parents has forgotten the importance of story telling. Parents should narrate a story every day to their children.
Stories help children develop imaginative capabilities. Such an imagination would help the child in ‘lateral thinking’, Mr. Adinarayana says.
At a session on the “Art of Parenting” organised by a play school in Vijayawada recently, many parents aired umpteen doubts about parenting.
Their queries ranged from chocolates to sex. While a father complained that his son was adamant and demands potato chips and chocolates after he returns home from school, a mother was perplexed and worried when her son insisted on knowing how he came into this world. The mother said: “My son asks me questions about sex organs. What do I do?”
“If the child is below six years of age, it is better to convince him that he would understand when he grows up,” Mr. Adinaryana told her.
Similarly, the father who is worried about the health of his son because of eating of junk food should convince his son that he was against chocolates but not him.
But purchasing chocolates should not be stopped abruptly, else children will start purchasing chocolates using their pocket money, he explained. The greatest boon for a child in his life is parents who could spend some time with him, Mr. Adinarayana added.
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